We're nearly to the end of the next one. But never too late. Shall we? 1. I study math now. All things considered, I'm fairly happy with this decision. I did a lot of things last year — call them X — and while I enjoyed them, and in ten years I'll likely look back and bemusedly say, *wow, those were the things I really learned*, I can't exactly say that ten minutes after class, I'm able to look back and always say *wow, those were things I learned*. And so, in some foreshadowing to the math, I approached the major decision with the heuristic that if X didn't work, we can reason backwards to try —X. The opposite of all I did last year, of course, being math. *I possess what I think I can call "reasonable impatience." I read really fast, mainly because I have a habit of skipping description.[^1] This is a symptom of a larger problem, which I will call the [[optimisation]] issue.* When I first wrote these words, I hadn't yet written [[optimisation]]. My views have probably changed. I'm more patient now, for instance. But also, I went on a very pleasant long walk the other day, and a good friend of mine and I talked about his inexpressible peace within daily experience. I feel my views on optimisation are now somewhat inexpressible. I just have more faith in myself, I suppose. I felt this on the hike, and I feel it more daily. Even if things go bad. Even when they do. 2. In possibly the most fitting continuation to the jaunt in [[SF]], I recently had dinner with a few other students and the [Collins family](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simone_and_Malcolm_Collins). The interesting observation that came out of it was their view of the "urban monoculture" — so [[NYC]], [[toronto, ontario, canada|Toronto]], what have you, are all roughly similar enough places — and it is thus worth noting that part of being raised in an urban monoculture is that you *think* you are more cultured and cosmopolitan and closer to a universal sense of humanity when really you are all differently coloured sheep. 3. As [Apollo Creed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KRzqPxR5zs), and [[sun and steel]] agreed, we have this amazing ability to construe fictions when all that really exists is reality. And yet we live in the imagination. 4. When I look back on this year, the most important things that happened were [[on agency, the dark arts, and paperclips|ratcamp]] and [[mammoth]]. Again, it seems true that being in motion — even when slow — leads to more development. Then again, parts of these moves felt like I was thrashing around in the choppy Pacific. [^1]: I know roughly what a home looks like — chairs, tables, walls, roof — and knowing that the ottoman is beige and historically significant doesn't add meaningfully to understanding that the antique dealer character probably has good taste in furniture. Again, forgive the snarky, dramatic turn of phrase.